How smoothly the transition goes can largely depend on planning ahead.
Ensure that you and/or your spouse have completed a Power of Attorney, Health Care Proxy, and other related medical and financial documents. Moreover, be sure that you have plans for the care of your child(ren). Things happen, schedules change, deployments become extended-be prepared. Also, ensure that your emergency contact cards at your child(ren)’s school, daycare, activity venues, etc. A good rule is to make sure all those listed on the card are within ½ hour commute at most to your child in the event of an emergency and that the phone numbers are frequently checked to make sure they are still valid.
Not all childcare places understand the life of a military child, so as a parent, it is best to be your child’s advocate. Keep the educators/caretakers informed. Be sure they know what’s going on so they can ease the burden on you and/or child when possible and help to keep the child happy while in their care. An informed caregiver can be a helpful caregiver, especially in times of transition or family separation.
Children are smart. They pick up on change often before it’s even arrived. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open. Each family will address the discussions of deployments and/or separations differently; there is no one right way. Just be sure to remember that your child may react in ways that you are not prepared for. The best thing to do is go with the flow and talk to them. Older child(ren) often understand better that mom/dad is not leaving in a way of abandonment, but it’s the little ones who may need a tiny bit more hand-holding and support during this time. Of course, teens and older youths can struggle too and it’s wise to be alert to their moods and attitudes that may surface around deployment time. Again, every child will behave in a way that is unique to them.
One helpful way to maintain sanity in the home during a time of transition, of any sort is to stay the course. That is, keep whatever schedule you already had going, as best as you can. Schedules can keep children (and parents) grounded. It’s easy to get caught up with change and emotions that come with deployments, but striving to maintain some normalcy when everything else is all but normal.
These are just a few tips that can hopefully help you and get your thinking about how to prepare your family.